13 replies to this topic

[Iron_Maiden]

1. Hand out Downhill Battle flyers. Make sure you leave one near the cashier before you leave.

2. If the store has one of those stereo things that let you listen to an album before you buy it, use it all day, singing along in a loud, whiny, annoying, nasal, obnoxious, off-key voice without actually buying anything, until you get bored or until they ask you to leave.

3. Do some research. Ask them if they have anything by some undiscovered, independent underground bands that nobody knows. While they're struggling trying to remember the store's inventory, throw in some made-up band names. See if they notice.

4. Rearrange the albums. See if they notice.

5. Pick a band that has permanently broken up and hasn't written anything,
recorded or performed since. Ask if they have the new album. Example: "Do you know when the new G'nR album's coming in?" If they tell you the band stopped recording, cry or shout "NOOOOO!!!! Why God, why?" or "DAMNIT TO HELL!!!!"

6. Try to return a used album. When they don't accept it, say "Oh, I know what this is all about...."

7. Try to buy an album they don't have in stock. Avoid snickering while they struggle with the cash register.

8. Try to return an 8-track tape or vinyl record. When they tell you they stopped selling them 20 years ago, start acting like Cheech and Chong and ask, "What year is this?"

9. Stores don't like cheapskates. Only buy stuff from the "$7.99 or less" section. Stock up on the cheapest ones you can find, and buy like 10 of them. Or just one.

10. Linger in the store for an hour and buy nothing but one of those CD openers for $0.50. Refuse to pay with anything but American Express, because you "need the airmiles."

11. Buy a gift certificate. Try to sell it back to them.

12. Buy a copy-controlled CD. While they ring it up, mutter to yourself, but loud enough so they can hear, "I can't wait to transfer it to my iPod."

13. Buy as many cases of blank CDs as you can afford, or carry, and mutter, "This should be enough for about a week."

14. Ask for an album that's out of stock. If they offer to order you a copy, ask how long it will take. Then say, "Man, if I were at home on the internet right now...."

15. Place copies of Dark Side of the Moon next to The Wizard of Oz. Leave a detailed note explaining the procedure.

16. Act like a gay stereotype while buying a Barbara Streisand album. But don't actually listen to the album when you get home, because you may end up acting like that permanently.

17. Ask, "If these new albums are copy-protected, then how can there be more than one copy available? Makes you think, doesn't it?" And then walk away.

18. Bring in a laptop with a wireless internet connection. Start downloading music in the store. Crank the sound so other people can hear. Once you have all the tunes you need, buy some blank CDs.

19. Pass around a fake petition or announce a boycott of "satanic bands". If the staff asks you to leave, accuse them of being satan worshippers. Do the same to people who buy the albums.

20. Stand near the cash register. When someone buys a CD, say, "Those guys suck!"

21. Buy an album. When they ring it up, say, "Oh come on, you're killing me!"

22. Tell them their prices are ridiculously high and that no sane person would ever stand for it. Meanwhile, have a friend act like a lunatic while trying to buy the most expensive albums in the store.

23. Try to return a gift certificate. If they tell you it has no cash value, accuse them of being monopolists. Then buy the cheapest thing in the store, and then collect your change---the rest of the gift certificate, in solid cash. Then say, "No cash value my ass!"

[Xlithan]

HAHAHA!!!! HMV here i come

[jurian]

this isn't even funny

[Xlithan]

its hilarious

[Crater]

this isn't even funny

yes it is

[Teh_Fluff]

Actually no, it isn't really fun...more stupid then anything

[Iron_Maiden]

HAHAHA!!!! HMV here i come

Ever watched the series Trigger Happy T.V??? I could imagine him doing some of those lol

[Stotic]

this isn't even funny

I concur. If I was a cashier at a record store and someone bought a cheap item then why would I care?

[dec]

some of them could be funny if delivered properly

[jurian]

some of them could be funny if delivered properly

which isn't written down on the nm forum

[Flux]

What IS funny however is David Brent making a complete ass out of himself. Nice icon, Iron_Maiden. The Office is the best sitcom ever written.

[Iron_Maiden]

some of them could be funny if delivered properly

Well i never actually wrote these, If i see funny stuff of another forum i visit alot then it bring it from there to here.

[dec]

I know

[Ryuku]

I laughed, I cried, we where all there, huh, good times.