27 replies to this topic

[Squee]

An exerpt from a local church's newsletter (a friend sent this to me ^^)

If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord.

Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil,darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of
music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such
as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and
His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats excessively or too little.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this. (COUNT CHOCULA CEREAL MEANS YOU COMMUNICATE WITH THE DEVIL ?)
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood.
(Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media
sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative manner.
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

[Nocturnal]

Saw this a while back on a few other forums. Still a great laugh.

-Complains of boredom. They got our number there!

[alone]

The joys.

This is taken from my friends LJ, from this afternoon.

I was out buying milk, as you do when you're about to run out and tea might as well be your lifeblood.

Now, picture the scene, a local shop, for local people, on the road that links the village of Caerleon to the putrid city of Newport.
Inside it there is a long-haired male youth in a 25 year old black long coat, black dress trousers, black gloves, black fedora, black scarf and black airforce boots. Carrying 2 pints of semi-skimmed milk.

This cross between Kaiser Soze and every American schools worst nightmare dear friends, would be me. The milk was in a plastic bottle with a green screw top.

So as I was paying for said milk, the shop assistant turned to me and asked
"Are you gothic or anything?"

Now, apart from being taken aback by this question, I thought about this rather carefully since it is a question I have never really devoted much thought to but might be important to know the answer of at some point in my future life.

But then I thought for a moment about the people I knew who'd fit the definition, I'd like to think I was marginally intelligent, interested in literature, art and alternative music. There was a glimmer of truth in her accusation.

Of course, then I realised something important. something critical. something that would possibly have ruined everything had I not thought of it at that moment.

Definition of Goth to anyone that has read the news lately?
"Stabbed girlfriend to death with pocket knife with 666 on it"
Hmm, local shop, local people, they might not let my buy milk anymore.

Thankfully, I never really aligned myself with anything, so my answer was still truth;

"Nah, I just can't colour co-ordinate to save my life"
I got a laugh, and she didn't call the police to stop me from attacking someone with an improbably sized blade or projectile weaponry. I consider this a success.

And I know you ALL wanted to read it

Edited by alone, 27 January 2005 - 12:48 AM.

[ShymiPunch]

I cannot keep a straight face reading any of those. I mean come on. I believe the worst one is...
Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.
DAMN CEREAL!!! It's taking over the world and converting people to Satanists. It must be stopped!
Oh and than there is this one . . .
Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
So in other words, about 90 percent of the United States population is gothic/satanic?
Ok, this is the last one I'll comment upon. heh
Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits.)
OH THE HORROR! Little Billy wants to spend some "alone-time" in his room.. HE MUST BE SPEAKING TO THE DEVIL . . .

One again the ignorance of the church has amused the hell out of me.

(to alone) *smirks* if people don't want to read it they can just refrain from reading the forums. It isn't too terribly hard. I personally found amusement from it.

[Da_J_Mooney]

This is TOO funny, lol. Almost ALL of these apply to me, and I'm NOWHERE near goth..

[QUOTE]One again the ignorance of the church has amused the hell out of me. [QUOTE]

Couldn't have said it better myself!

[Ryuku]

People nowdays consider goth a style more than a way of life, I'm probably one of the many few who are actually goth, although I don't act completely like myself on the internent. So many don't know :: Hush hush. ::

[Lady_Maha]

-Frequently wears black clothing.
Well, seeing as people say black makes you look slim, of course I wear black a lot.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
Got those, wear them occasionally.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
Nope, prefer make up free, and if I wear make up it's not usually black.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.
I have an Ankh tattooed on my back and wear a yin yang symbol around my neck.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
3 tats.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of
music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
Well, I am sure a lot of the music I listen to would qualify.
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
All the time.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such
as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
Well yes, fits my description.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
Well no, I don't.
-Takes drugs.
I smoke and drink coffee, does that count?
-Drinks alcohol.
Occasionally yes. It's legal where I live at my age.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
Not really.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and
His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
Nah, I only hurt others when they get too annoying.
-Complains of boredom.
I wish...
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
Too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
Let me see... it's 3am now... yep...
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
No, I love the sun, can't live without.
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
I demand privacy, not what I would consider unusual though.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
I wish I could.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits.)
Well, I do request such times. What I do during those times is my business though.
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
Seeing as I am an adult now I have to answer this from the time I was a teen, and yes, I did insist on doing just that.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
Absolutely, if they talk nonsense.
-Misbehaves at school.
I used to.
-Misbehaves at home.
I still do.
-Eats excessively or too little.
Too little... sometimes I go a whole day without food.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this. (COUNT CHOCULA CEREAL MEANS YOU COMMUNICATE WITH THE DEVIL ?)
wtf is count chocula cereal???
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood.
(Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
no thanks...
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media
sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
Well yes, I do.
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
Nightmist, nuff said.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
I never turn it off...
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
Yes, I headbang occasionally.
-Dances to music in a provocative manner.
Well yes.
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
bisexual
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
Woot, Taoism isn't listed. Probably still counts though.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
nope
-Claims to be a goth.
nope



Let's count...
24?

Dang, I must be as goth as it gets....

[Penguin]

Don't assume all churches/church goers are wacked out when one of these things goes around the internet. That doesn't mean I don't acknowledge the fact that many of those don't have anything to do with goths.

[Ryuku]

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of
music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such
as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats excessively or too little.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood.
(Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.) (Ryuku- I don't do this often)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media
sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-or violently shakesead to music.
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.  (Ryuku- They are so sexist lmao)
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.  (Ryuku- Wtf, they're bsing buddist..?)

These all pertain to me..but I don't consider myself gothic or..that kinda way..the church is fking warped or something, they take everything so seriously.

Edited by Ryuku, 27 January 2005 - 02:33 AM.

[EvilDognapot]

goth is serious business, and should not be taken lightly.

if your kid or your friends start to display pointed arc's like the one's seen below, it is vitally important that you get help immediately!



also, if someone close to you has joined a group of swedish immigrants bent on revenge against the roman empire, then your loved one is in mortal peril and needs your help now! thier leader is apparently a roudy fellow, and they're a fairly rough crowd. don't trust your loved ones with the goths!

[Silver_Dragoness]

Rofl! Almost ALL of those resemble me... I also write dark poetry at times.. Am I goth? ... I don't know... i dont label myself.. And I wish that other people wouldnt label me either.

Thread was funny

[Lifeless Void]

Yay im goth!

[Nny]

Damn... I fit nearly every one of these except about 4...oooo and I'm guessing if I have elaborate visions of slaying people that could be another addition to my "goth-ness" but wooot!!!! I am evil and goth and am condemned to hell!!!!! *dances around* i feel...speshul? ha ha.. wow.. sometimes i cannot help but to shake my head and laugh at ignorance...

but yes oO fear me and my evil-ness?

[Scripto]

i think i fit all but the make up one

[Thunderja]

Goths do all those things to be diff... yet there are thousands of other "Goths" all over the world. Sounds like Loserville if you ask me.

Be yourself.

[Devotchka]

That was very amusing, I guess that makes me a hardcore "goth" lmao..
I've had ppl asking me on game if was just this past week too. funny really..

*goes off to be alone and talk to her Prince of Darkness and maybe sacrifice a few young virgins*

[jurian]

That was very amusing, I guess that makes me a hardcore "goth" lmao..
I've had ppl asking me on game if was just this past week too. funny really..

*goes off to be alone and talk to her Prince of Darkness and maybe sacrifice a few young virgins*

would you mind sacrificing those to me?

Edited by jurian, 27 January 2005 - 02:32 PM.

[Devotchka]

That was very amusing, I guess that makes me a hardcore "goth" lmao..
I've had ppl asking me on game if was just this past week too. funny really..

*goes off to be alone and talk to her Prince of Darkness and maybe sacrifice a few young virgins*

would you mind sacrificing those to me?

Sure, how many would you like? They come with Count Chocula cereal too..

[Lifeless Void]

Today I wore all white, so I'M NOT A GOTH!
*is different*

Edit: oops my bad pants were khaki...

Edited by Lifeless Void, 27 January 2005 - 05:57 PM.

[Crane]

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

That's all of us then... Nightmist!

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.

By the way that article is worded, how they are very 'no-no' about other religions and the mention of elders tells me that this is not from a regular church newsletter, but the Watchtower (the newsletter of the Jehovah's Witnesses).

As for me, I would definitely be under the category of über goth because I fulfil so many of those categories, even though I am not a goth.

[Exilus]

I counted i match over 90 percent of those, Hey Manda i got a virgn you got the athame

Edited by Exilus, 27 January 2005 - 08:10 PM.

[Dc]

dang, even im a goth

[Squee]

Just for reference, the Church isn't all bad nor is all corrupt. ^^;

Some Church's are quite extreme, however, and we should all know that any kind of extremism is bad. The article above (when broken down to the lowest common denominator; the very lowest) is just saying to take care of your kids. And I don't think any of us can really argue with that.

Still...the message is kind of perversed in this article. ^^;

PS. Dognapot, I think your humour is wasted on Nightmist.

[Stotic]

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.

lol

[Penguin]

Just for reference, the Church isn't all bad nor is all corrupt. ^^;

Some Church's are quite extreme, however, and we should all know that any kind of extremism is bad. The article above (when broken down to the lowest common denominator; the very lowest) is just saying to take care of your kids. And I don't think any of us can really argue with that.

Still...the message is kind of perversed in this article. ^^;

wurd

[EvilDognapot]

PS. Dognapot, I think your humour is wasted on Nightmist.

probably, but if one person who didn't get the joke goes out and learns enough history to chuckle at it in retrospect... then it's all worth it when the joke is passed on. so when your friend tells you "i'm gonna go goth guys", get them some spears and stupid helmets because they're being retarded.

[Wafer]

So Philosopy is a dangerous cult! LOL

I even feel some sympathy for goths now.

Out of all the teenage 'genre's', each being uniform in their individuality, I always thought goth's were the biggest bunch of sheep. Goth's are so individual you can spot them a mile off! (or smell them)

And why is it that EVERY female goth you might be unlucky enough to enter into conversation with, has been sexually abused and is more than willing to tell you, a complete stranger about it?

Personally I think Satan is far to cool to have anything to do with goths!

[Lifeless Void]

PS. Dognapot, I think your humour is wasted on Nightmist.

probably, but if one person who didn't get the joke goes out and learns enough history to chuckle at it in retrospect... then it's all worth it when the joke is passed on. so when your friend tells you "i'm gonna go goth guys", get them some spears and stupid helmets because they're being retarded.

I understood! a little bit... i think...