If the man wants his topic edited, I can be the jerk. However, I implore you to understand that I have not taken any English courses since high school, and I have never been professionally trained as an editor or writer. I am an engineer, and we are known for writing mistakes.
That said, I can see errors in almost every sentence, run-on, and attempted sentence that you wrote. So here we go...
Don't close my topic, moderate it.
I think this is a run-on sentence, but I'm not 100% sure. That is surprising since it is so short. I suggest, "Don't close my topic. Moderate it." The missing noun is okay because this is an example of the "understood 'you'."
If I say I have Item A, and am willing to sell it for Price B, then it's over, it isn't a negotiation after that.
I am 100% sure this time. You have a run-on sentence problem here. You also need quotations for your quote, or you could write, "If I say that I have..." to make it an indirect quote. A period after over would close off your first sentence. The second sentence should probably end at negotiation or add the word statement at the end. "After that" is basically ending a sentence in a preposition, but again, I'm not 100% sure here.
Unless the bid starts a where I'd even be willing to sell it.
There are a few problems here. I suggest just a full re-write instead of altering the original. The word "unless" suggests that you will have a first statement and a second option. Here we just have an incomplete thought. The tense is also changing from present to future. I don't know the exact rules on that, but typically, tense does not change mid-sentence.
I want to stop, but you called us lazy. I am going to see this through.
Do not make me out to be the fool, and have to recreate threads because your too lazy to do your 'advisor' job.
I applaud your attempt to use a conjunction. However, you must have a noun in the second sentence. You also make the horribly common mistake with using "your" instead of "you're" prior to "too lazy." I cannot paste a link, but Google "your you're" for memes and other tutorials.
Your = possession, ownership, or a intrinsic facet
You're = you are
Your a forum editor, so,...edit the forum.
I really wish I could provide the link on the utilization of "your" and "you're" right now. Also, you have run-on sentence issues again. I love to use ellipsis, too! I'm glad you almost executed it well. However, when you provide the suspense with ellipsis, eliminate the comma.
When dumb asses go completely off topic on my post, that is not my fault, edit them, not mine.
Damn! It was so good until the end. We have another run-on. Your first sentence ends at the word "fault." The second sentence is messed up. If you say "them" then use "me" for you. Otherwise, you could say, "Edit their post instead of mine."
Love,
Joker
This is acceptable.
Do you really want me to be a forum editor?
I don't have time to help you like this all the time, and I think people would find it frustrating.
We moderate in a lax fashion to avoid frustrations that come with frequent deletion or suppression of thought.
When I was strict, many people really disliked it. I'm not here to hassle people, and I grew to understand that moderation needed to be done in moderation. Otherwise I am frustrating people instead of helping keep things amiable and within the terms of service.
Don't hate,
Gaddy
Wisdom is the principle thing. Therefore, get wisdom, and in all your getting, get understanding.
-Proverbs 4:7