127 replies to this topic

[rebo]

O.K., first of all, if you didn't read the description, i'm new at this so help me if you can. I am going to try my best.




Adam was only 15 years old, but working on the farm which he lived on had built his muscles to the point where he was stronger than most people 2 years older than him. He is tall, with green eyes and brown hair. His mother had past away when he was young, and he scarcely remembered her. He now lived with his father. Most of the time he wore plain brown pants and a green shirt with a light-brown robe covering his body. He had some skill with a staff, although he never really had to use it other than the yearly tournaments in the city which lied about 5 miles east of the farm.


Adam woke up in the middle of the night to his father's shouting. His father was obviosly arguing with a group of people. To be safe, Adam crept out the back door to the cornfield and positioned himself where he could here them better. He couldn't here much, but he heard a few fragments such as "where is he?" and "where is your son". They were clearly looking for Adam, and he knew it.
However, his father would not give up any information. The other men started to raise there voices louder, and they got closer to his father. One of them, apparenly the leader, stepped forward and drew his word. He swung it, and struck down Adam's father. Adam had to try his hardest not to cry out in rage, but he held it back. He knew he stood no chance against at least 4 armed men. The men burst into his house. A few minutes later, after much comotion, the men came back out of his house. Adam ran as far as he could until he run no more, and it started to rain. He was all alone, and thought to himself, [COLOR=red]"I WILL get revenge one day..." (ooc: i hope that came out read... crap i hope this doesnt mess up...). But he had no idea where to start. He couldn't go back to his house, as the men would surely go there again. He decided to head toward the city, and hope he could find something about the men who were looking for him. Also, he decided, maybe he could find some people to help him on his way (ooc:i hope all this isn't red....)

[rebo]

ooc: awww crap. how do you change the color?

[Charon]

ooc: colour coordination

ooc: awww crap. how do you change the color?

To turn off the colour type [/color] ... you already had the right command for starting it [color=red]

And yes, thats phrased wierdly, because if I wrote it the other way round my commands disapeared into the redness so that you couldn't see them ^^;;

Edit: may I also suggest that you blank out your swear words somehow, just to make sure noone complains ^^

Edited by Charon, 16 April 2004 - 02:16 AM.

[Squee]

OOC:

[color=red]Text[/color]

Errm...It seems Charon beat me to it... *shakes fist*

...Anyways, nice opening. I enjoyed reading it. I'll be posting here as soon as I can think of a suitable entrance.

Err...one last thing: could you space out your posts? It's just rough on my eyes. ^^;;

...BLAH! One more thing. ^^; What's the city's name? What kind of environment? Era?

Edited by Squee, 16 April 2004 - 02:20 AM.

[rebo]

[COLOR=red] [like this?]

[Opie]

no no no, you have to end it with [/color]

[green_mantis]

Maybe a dictionary will help your posts too. Look up words that you dont know or have more than one spelling.

One of them, apparenly the leader, stepped forward and drew his word. He swung it, and struck down Adam's father

I've always thought that words couldn't hurt you...

Good job though, and with a little work this could turn into a good topic.

[rebo]

i can spell them, i just messed up typing if your reffering to "apparently"

hey is this red

[rebo]

Hmmm... ok now for the environment...


The land in which this story takes place is the land of Kaldune. Kaldune is a heavily forested realm, with humans being the supirior race (Adam's a human if I forgot to say it earlier). Great numbers of elves rome the forest. The first couple of miles of forest around the city had been cut down for farming and to prevent sneak attacks on the city. The city in which Adam first arrives in is called Tipa (ooc:i sat here for like 10 minutes trying to think up a name, but decided in just taking it from Final Fantisy:Crystal Chronicles. if you can think up a better one, then feel free to change it.) and the races there consist mainly of humans, halflings, and dwarves. There are other races in the city, however most are merchants or mercenaries.

The dwarven blacksmiths there are the best around, however their prices are outragous. Also, most people visiting the city end up finding most of there mioney missing by the time they find a decent inn, due to the expertice of the halfling pickpockets. The humans there generaly run things, from selling food and running entertainment to the builing and expanding of Tipa and controlling taxes and laws.

(I hope i described it well enough, and the grey came out in the part i attempted to use it.)

[Squee]

Steven walked into Tipa, whistling a catchy and merry tune. His eyes were closed as he enjoyed the beating down of the warm and friendly sun. There was no real weapons on Steven's body; there was a sheathed knife on his belt but that could hardly be called a weapon.

Tucked under his arm was a lovely, black book. The cover was smooth and the pages were worn, as if they had been flipped through many a time before. The little bounce in Steven's step made his necklace jingle with the faintest of sounds; a silver crucifix, fixed on to a silver chain.

Suddenly, however, Steven stopped in his tracks. He stopped his whistling and just stood still for a moment. He opened his eyes and looked to the sky in an obvious bewilderment.

"...Wha- ...Rain?"

[green_mantis]

((there is nothing happening yet on unconventional healing so I'll add another person to your world.))

Mantis, a young Eldritch knight from a far-off land, trots into Tipa just as the rain begins to fall.
((It is raining, right? otherwise I was misled by squee.))
"Oh Beleaguez, I know you dont like the rain." He says to his mount. A roan horse with a long, braided mane. "Just look on the bright side... at least your back isn't getting wet." Beleaguez lets out a snort of discontent as if this was small consolation. "Oh, don' you be giving me that." Mantis just barely sees a young peasant with a book under his arm in time to stop Beleaguez from running into him. "Ho there, Beleaguez. I don't want you running people down in the street." Mantis says to Beleaguez. "I apologize sir." He says as he reins Beleaguez beside this young peasant. "I didn't run into you did I?" He says, genuinely concerned.

Edited by green_mantis, 17 April 2004 - 07:38 AM.

[Squee]

"...Wha- Oh...h-hello there. N-No...you didn't hit me," Steven said as he tilted his head to the side.

"...I'm fine...really..." he said as he briskly walked by. However, after a few steps, Steven stopped in his tracks.

"...Y-You...you wouldn't happen to know where the church is...do you?"

[rebo]

As Adam finally arrives near the city gates, he notices two people, one looking like a cleric and another some type of warrior. It seems the one looking like a cleric was trying to find a church. "I can show you", Adam replies gloomily, making it obvious something had happened to him. "I've been there many times before to be healed after a tournament." Adam figuered he should help everyone he encountered, and hoped in turn they would help him. He also noticed the knight was from another land: he could tell by the looks of his equipment, and around this area horses were very rare, especially fine steeds like the one he was mounted on (ooc: sorry to describe your horse, but i wanted to put something else in).

[Silverwizard]

A young but nimble half elf walks warily in the city, hiding under the side of a building - partly from the rain, partly from people - he watches this meeting. His stature is nothing to take notice of, not very tall, but he was slim and not very strong looking but he could defeat some of the strongest knights by speed and wit. He wore simple cloth but it was enchanted to be as strong as steel and at his side were a rapier and a scimitar. Watching closely he witnessed the meeting of Steven and Mantis, not knowing why but he was interested. Narin realised that he knew something but did not know what.

[Charon]

"Ya bein' quite an-ti-so-shal o'er here are-en't-cha?" a clear, melodical voice carried down to Narin, before a young female elf landed besides him, undeniably graceful "All hidin' from the merry meet an' the merry part" she smiled slightly, sarcasm glinting in her eyes as she jerked her head towards the congregation of three meeting near the gates

"Per-haps ya not al' that rel-li-gee-yous eh? I heared them men-shuh-ning a chirch a-fore I spotted ya be-yin all lone-sym an' somba"

The rain had not been falling long, and yet she was drenched and dripping. She pursed her lips and blew upwards, trying to shift the slackened hair from her face but failing abysmally.

"I'm Hel-le-vo-run" she bowed to the man with a grin, before spinning away, her shoulderlength hair shimmering as water splashed onto it. The rain didn't seem to bother her at all. She whipped out the staff that had been strapped against her back and leant forwards onto it, observing him thoughtfully "Or Helevorn. Or Hel" for just a moment she dropped the strange lilt she'd held in her voice, but it was back near instantly, returning to song "And who-wa might you be sah? What brings ya t'merry Teey-pa?"

((ooc: okay... I would first like to point out that I do know how to spell antisocial, religious, mentioning, lonesome, somber, etc ^^;;
Secondly, Hel has a very bizzare accent- indeed, she speaks with a curious musical lilt which... well... I can 'speak' it with ease, but it looks very very peculiar when I type it
If anyone really can't understand what she is saying, let me know and I'll try to tone it down. I do hint that if you can't get a word, if you try and say it, it almost makes sense))

Edited by Charon, 18 April 2004 - 12:37 AM.

[Squee]

((I lurve accents. XD One time, someone was using a Russian-German accent and that was UBER cool! XD

Just one question...is she singing those words?))

[Charon]

((ooc: I just wish I knew what this accent was ^^ It just seemed like a good idea at the time I was developing her character ;)

As far as the singing goes... She's trying to sing it all, but its a little strained... though she is meant to be singing it all, she simply can't - and thats more 'my' fault than its 'her's:

Singing full sentences with no rhyme scheme or syllabic meter isn't something I can quite get straight in my mind (And you really don't want to see my poor attempts of writing in meters)

Plus I get the feeling she'd come across somewhat 'affected' if I did try to pass it off as entirely song. And also more comical than I shall oft intend her to be.

However, even when not singing she is able to keep her tone musical, except for specific points when I say the tone lapses- such as when she gives her name as it was given to her. Despite her pronunciation of Hellevorun, she is, in fact, Helevorn. Or Hel- please note, this lacks the harsh emphasis normally placed on the word 'Hell' with two 'L's ))

[Squee]

((...I don't want to rain on your parade by telling you that Hel was the under-world in Norse mythology (an icey place where the cowards and evil men would go once they died) so I won't.

Anyways, after all that, I can only say one thing:

BARDBARDBARDBARDBARDBARDBARD!! XD))

[Charon]

((...I don't want to rain on your parade by telling you that Hel was the under-world in Norse mythology (an icey place where the cowards and evil men would go once they died) so I won't.

Anyways, after all that, I can only say one thing:

BARDBARDBARDBARDBARDBARDBARD!! XD))

((ooc: Oh I'm so glad you chose not to tell me that then

Ah, I know my Norse mythology ^^ I went and read about the Gods and tales and the seven worlds etc at great length when I became interested in rune casting

I was just giving people an 'easy' option if they didnt want to call her Helevorn everytime. Besides, I would imagine that 'Hel' the cold icy place (erk-I remember reading of a path of still living humans buried up to their necks that people could walk down :s and they would slowly and painfully die and it became a path of skulls ... *Charon shivers* That was supposedly in Hel too... :s )

Anyhow, what was I saying? Oh yes, that 'Hel' the nasty norse underworld would presumably also have a fairly harsh emphasis. 'Hel' as in 'Helevorn'... is somehow softer ^^

Re: Bard(etc)... lol, point taken ^^;; But I have decided bards are evil I was trying to compose a 'bard song' during my lunch break at work today (yes, I have nothing better to do) and it was... not brilliant ^^;;

Squee - one last thing as I am testing my knowledge - Yuna of the Hair? ))

Edited by Charon, 18 April 2004 - 01:32 AM.

[green_mantis]

((I thought Hel was the norse goddes that resided in their underworld.))

[Charon]

((I thought Hel was the norse goddes that resided in their underworld.))

((ooc: Depends in part if you read Everworld
The domain and the one who resides within it...Theoretically the name is shared, as its 'purpose' is similar))

[Squee]

"Uhh...oh...th-thank you," Steven said to Adam as he nervously scratched the back of his head. Suddenly, Steven dropped his hands and stared at Adam, turnip-headedly. Something...was troubling Adam. He opened his mouth to ask but...quickly closed it; it wasn't his business to ask, they both knew that.

"Umm...s-sir? Th-Thank you for your help," he finally said to Mantis, smiling as best he could.

"But I'm just going to walk to the church with this man here."

Steven's hair was now slick with rain and stuck to his face. However, even as the water streamed off his face and on to his clothes, Steven remained quite cheerful. Although stuttering was a sure sign of nervousness and anxiety, there was a glint in Steven's eyes that seemed to beg to differ.

[green_mantis]

"I was going to the church anyway." Mantis says with a small smile. "The reverend there takes care of my horse while I am in town."
((I forgot to mention Mantis has a mythril longspear resting in the stirrup and his right hand is occupied holding it.))
Mantis reins Beleaguez to ride along side these two. "People call me Mantis." He finally said as they were halfway to the church. "You seem like good folk." Beleaguez tosses his head. "Oh, yes. This is Beleaguez, my best friend." He says patting Beleaguez' side.

[Squee]

"...M-My name is Steven Christopher Avelin. It's a pleasure to meet you...err...Mantis?

...And that's a lovely horse...may I?" Steven said, reaching out to touch Beleaguez's mane.

[green_mantis]

"Just don't mess up his braids. He hates that. He does them himself somehow." Mantis says looking curiously at Beleaguez' braids. Beleaguez looks at Mantis and makes a few neighs. "Yes my friend, you were right, it was a good thing we didn't bring your barding." Mantis says shaking his head.

[Exor]

((K im new at this so i hope it goes ok >.<))

A tall,bulky man dressed in a charcoal colored suit of armor rides to the gates of Tipa, on a dark, rough looking horse.He has a helmet on so no one can see his face.To the right of him he has a broad sword in its sheath.Strapped on his back is a shield with spikes around the rim of it.The Dark Knight rides up to the guard."Allow me passage.I must seek shelter here for the night."The guard opens the gate and the Dark Knight pats his horse on the side."Come Shadowlox we shall get some food and some rest."Shadowlox neighs and trots foward into the city of Tipa.The Dark Knight looks around for a place to sleep.He sees two men.One on a horse and the other on foot, petting the horse.The Dark Knight guides Shadowlox to a building with a roof over the deck.He steps down off his horse and ties him to a post."Shadowlox let me rest for a minute and I shall go buy us something to eat"The Dark Knight kneels on one knee and rests,looking at the two men still.

[Bean]

((/me cheers Exor. Yay for you, Good writing. Nice to see new people starting to try out RPing))

[Silverwizard]

Narin looks up to Helevorn, "Me? Anti-social? Narin the Daring, Narin the Brave, Narin the Handsome? Surely you jest. I am the greatest of the nobles, the bravest of the men, and the only man in these parts who could stand up to a dragon and not get even on hair on his head burned."

With this highly egotistical talk he makes a low bow to Helevorn, "And it is a pleasure to meet you Hel."

((Yes, Narin is an egotistical guy, he is not a noble but he acts like one and due to the wealth he has managed to amass over his first few years as a theif no one denies him the right to call himself a noble and the nobles invite him to balls etc but mostly because he has a reputation for stiring up trouble and makes a great excuse to end a family feud.))

[rebo]

(ooc:wait... when you said one on foot and one petting the horse, were you reffering to Mantis and Steven?if so, you would probably see Adam too....)

"I agree, I haven't seen a horse that good-looking in a long time.... the last time i've seen a horse like that was.... actually, come to think of it, I don't remember seeing a horse that looked like that. Horses around here are rare as it is" Adam adds to Steven's previous comment.

"By the way... you can call me Adam" He adds, looking at Steven and Mantis.


"Maybe one of them had seen the men when they were walking into town.. ," He thought to himself.

He decided to ask them later, when they were more aquainted with each other.

[Vër§íðñ 1.0]

(ooc: Wow.. this looks fun, i'm also new at this like the gosu one!)

A tall, and kinda on the chubby sized man is showed on the out-skirts of the town. The man ice blue hair that reaches the back of his neck, also with a long strand of hair on the front of his face running down beside his eye covering a scar. The man looks around on the town noticeing different houses, but can't find a Blacksmith, which he is looking for. The man looks over his outfit, which is a plain black robe, with many chain links (like lulu on FF10) The man makes his way into the city noticing the different people, often smirking at them and saying foul stuff about them under his breath. Then man then walks into a building that has a cross on it? He's a bit confused, but he has heard of such buildings where a man came to confuess his sin's, but didn't care to much for them. He walked up the builiding's stairs and into the room looking to find someone. Finally he walks up to someone and says.

'Unknown Man': "Hello, I'm from a far off land, a place that is much different then this dreadfull town, Can you please tell me where a black smith is. "

The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a Sharp dagger, that is broke at the tip, and is very unuseable now, The dagger has many blood stains on it, and a lot of tribal where you old it at, with a blue emarald in the center of it.

'Unknown Man': "As you see, my dagger has broke, And I need a new one. Now there is something very important. You see this blue emarald? the man points to his dagger with the blue emarald This emarald must be in my new dagger, It is very important to me, it .. Well it gives me good luck. So could you point me to the very best Blacksmith in town, I have plenty of money."

The man then waits on someone's responce...

(EEEKKKK!! I hope that wasn't to bad It was my first time R/Ping so I had no clue what to do. The person i'm Roleplaying at is how you say.. I don't know the word for it.. he's a "Bad" guy, Evil, BLAH! He remains un-named at this moment, although I plan on saying his name later, and maybe explainging the emarald.

Edited by Vër§íðñ 1.0, 18 April 2004 - 09:32 PM.