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A Public Apology


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#1 Crane

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Posted 16 April 2007 - 12:09 AM

I've been badly behaved for long enough... I need to come clean.

For the past year or so now, I have done nothing but complain, bad-mouth and accuse staff and certain players. Whether the accusations are unfounded or not, I went about them in a very derogatory way, down to simple rebellious actions like publicly calling a staff member by their real first name when I know he does not like it, while attempting to prove him wrong for no beneficial reason. Other times I have hurt friends through failing to control my emotional outbursts and thus not thinking rationally - I have been so narrow-minded these days, yet always thought I was open-minded... amazing how deluded one can make one's self.

Regarding some of the recent changes, I have been simply attacking the staff who are visible and have said something about them, whether from spearheading the announcement or simply airing support, not talking calmly and not talking to the actual person who did suggest and implement the changes. Consequently, I have possibly lost some good friends through jumping to conclusions and thus really hurting their feelings.

I may feel strongly against certain actions, but it seems I have a lot to learn when it comes to submission. What do I do instead though? As a friend told me, I do nothing but log on and complain, which often leads to bad-mouthing and trying to unfairly gather support so I don't feel so alone - so much for wanting to be solitary.

An emotional cry-baby I may be, but it is no excuse for how I have treated people who do not deserve to be treated that way. Some of the things I have done to people, I just don't know how to ask for forgiveness or if I even deserve it. All I can say to all the guys and girls I've upset, even if it means little today... I'm so sorry everyone.
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Don't kill the messenger mathematician!

#2 eclypse

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Posted 16 April 2007 - 12:49 PM

its all good dude, pretty much everybody in game is emo at one point. its not real life so it really doesnt matter :)
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#3 Throwback

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Posted 16 April 2007 - 07:11 PM

oh i have never gone emo!!!!!!

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#4 fallen

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Posted 16 April 2007 - 09:35 PM

Everyone has bad days or feel so strongly about certian things that they find it hard to accept or see any others thoughts or point of view.... it happens
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#5 Jamie&Andy

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Posted 16 April 2007 - 10:37 PM

that made me cry :)

#6 Crane

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Posted 17 September 2007 - 05:37 PM

I do not think I have learnt a thing. Quite fairly, after numerous warnings and an earlier close call, I have been banned for the foreseeable future for revealing staff information, and this time there was no excuse... I thought it was okay to reveal it because it came directly from another staff member rather than my own former powers... of course, it was not okay, and I realised myself that it wasn't after I saw the exact statistical figures I had paged on the screen. Whether it is from not being able to differentiate between private and public memories or forgetting about the helper site I have been told to direct people to, I am a liability and a threat to the stability of the game, and I do not trust myself to stay quiet. Either I forget myself entirely and say anything and everything, or I become so paranoid that I refuse to speak at all. I would do anything to erase every memory I picked up from my staff days, but that is not possible, and as thus, I am a risk.

Nightmist has no form of rehabilitation, and I doubt that many online societies have such a system for offenders, whether they are shameless of their crime or drowning in their own guilt. Despite Elf's best efforts (bless her) in trying to teach me not to make the same errors again, I keep making them, and I feel I have failed her.

Trevayne, you have every reason in the world to hate me, and I hold nothing against you... you always do what is best for the game. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few; the game can do without me.

Electron, I will try to get your druid transferred back into your account, since I do not want you to lose a good crit that I have been charged with training.

As far as I am concerned, even if is not true, I am permanently banned and in disgrace and dishonour; I never thought I would be banned like this, but regardless of my intent, I am in the same league as people who hack, swear, and otherwise make the game unpleasant to play. I am a criminal. Should my ban be lifted, you are welcome to try to convince me to return, or ask me to close the door behind me.
The Crane Temple Chairman

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Crane
Europa


Don't kill the messenger mathematician!

#7 Pandilex

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Posted 18 September 2007 - 12:59 AM

I've never gone emo...







...have I? Posted Image
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#8 Hustle

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Posted 18 September 2007 - 01:49 AM

i have!! its kewl tho, lol sometimes its best to just go emo for a few than hold it in lol anyways stop taking it so seriously, who cares, its just a game

#9 EvilDognapot

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Posted 18 September 2007 - 01:59 AM

It's odd because you have trouble forgetting and I can't even remember what you just posted as reason for leaving/banning. I'd say that this probably doesn't matter, but what do I know?
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#10 Thunderja

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Posted 18 September 2007 - 09:17 AM

Wow Dognapot lucked out on the forum member number...
I wouldn't mind stabbing you in the face, if that's cool with you?

#11 Gaddy

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Posted 18 September 2007 - 05:08 PM

I'm sure luck had nothing to do with it...

Gareth, I hope you get to feeling better. NM needs a playerbase, ya know?
Just have to be careful about what goes on between former staff members and players due to all of the problems that have or have been accused of having happend in the past.
Wisdom is the principle thing. Therefore, get wisdom, and in all your getting, get understanding.
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#12 Crane

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Posted 18 September 2007 - 06:55 PM

If I am to be a player, I need to be treated as a player; a few people, including current staff, treat me as if I am staff, and that is really not helping issues. I am not staff; I never was staff.

I made a promise to Elf not to mention anything staff-related again; I am in the knowledge that it would be difficult to keep, but the repercussions of breaking a promise will be catastrophic, not least because it will hit me back three-fold.

I am still in two minds whether to return at all, and that is assuming my ban is not semi-permanent, and right now I can only assume it is. Staff cannot permanently monitor or mute me, so any precautions only I can put in place.
The Crane Temple Chairman

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Crane
Europa


Don't kill the messenger mathematician!

#13 EvilDognapot

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Posted 18 September 2007 - 11:04 PM

I thought about a whole bunch of sarcastic things to say that were truly more entertaining than this, but to approach things rationally here, if people are upset at you for telling other players things that staff told you as a player then you should really re-evaluate your culpability in this situation and tell the proper people to grow up and piss off.
Evil report carries further than any applause

#14 Throwback

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Posted 19 September 2007 - 12:49 AM

yea, getting banned because staff let their lips run doesnt seem to be fair, i was threatened being banned because i heard what the names of the 1a quest were and wouldnt tell who told me....sorry but getting good info and lucking out that someone would tell you shouldnt be bannable.

Vegas 1a....formerly known as Memphis
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#15 Trevayne

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Posted 19 September 2007 - 01:47 AM

Since Crane seems intent on bringing this to the forum, I'll respond in kind.

In the last two weeks, Crane has been warned at least twice directly by JLH for giving out information to players about areas that he created. This included information about in-game secrets that he could not have had access to as a player and full maps of areas that he created. These were not the first time that there have been problems with him releasing staff-only information.

While I try to treat Crane as I would any other player, the fact is that he was staff. He was an area designer, and built some of the most complex areas in game. Since he left the staff team, however, he has continued to dish out information that no player could ever have had access to. He makes anywhere between 3 and 10 requests to me or other staff each week about changes that he wants made in game, almost always to areas he built or was building.

Although he seems to think this is some personal vendetta of mine, I don't hate Crane. He's a good player and we need more of those. But I will treat him just like anyone else and do what I can to stop this kind of blatant abuse.

He can't seem to keep control of himself even after he was warned repeatedly by JLH. He was banned as a last resort and will remain banned until JLH decides what is an appropriate solution.
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#16 Cule

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Posted 19 September 2007 - 02:20 AM

If a player makes the transition to become a developer he or she should not be allowed to play the game anymore, because this might happen.

How could you not see this coming?

Even if he wouldnt have released any maps or told any secrets to anyone we would still have a player playing the game who knows stuff that no player should not know.

So, i would say that him giving the information to his fellow players is only fair at this point.

...

#17 EvilDognapot

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Posted 19 September 2007 - 03:19 AM

Seriously, every staff member I've known has had to balance this kind of issue and none of them did any better than crane by the sound of it.

Did the game stop? Nope. Before Malok's area opened up I was tp'd there several times to help work out the strength of the boss and new NPC's. Guess what? Still waiting for that Emerald Dagger, and no one would have figured out /open that day if a staffer didn't tell someone.

Before Cyric became an imbecile we'd talk about the more obscure features of the SDG, and as far as I can tell, those conversations didn't upset anything (until he repeated them to his clan and encouraged them to hoard anything in an organized fashion).

Zenith was more than happy to let people know some shortcuts the easy way, and he was fired for cheating for his own crits, not spoiling.

When the Lich area was made, I had discussions with the creator on some fine details, but once again, the world didn't end (and the moron typo'd phylactery, it's not supposed to be "phyclatery" or whatever, I should know, it was my suggestion).

Then there was always "you didn't see this" maps that would come at convenient times, but hey, once again, what do I know?
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#18 Redheart

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Posted 19 September 2007 - 03:51 AM

A word of wisdom.

The internet is the playground of the devil.
Online anyone can pretend to be anything/anyone that they chose to.
Be very careful whom you give information to.
Do not freely giving out your private information to unknown strangers.
Online games are a fantasy and not to be taken seriously.
It is more important in life to make/have real life relationships.
To be a productive member of society you need social skills. You do not achieve this online.

and on a final note:
Real friends accept you as you are. Real friends accept your downfalls and are willing to forgive you when you are truly sorry. You wont find many real friends via the internet. It is more important for your emotional well being to make real life relationships and friends.

Nightmist is one out of hundreds of free online games. If you can't cope, chose another.
" For lunch we can have cupcakes until our little fairy tummies are content. We can all stay up to watch the sunset, then go to sleep in our little fairy beds.”

#19 Throwback

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Posted 19 September 2007 - 03:56 AM

Even if he wouldnt have released any maps or told any secrets to anyone we would still have a player playing the game who knows stuff that no player should not know.


why do u think staff get accused of cheating all the time. the fact they have mortals opens a can of worms they must deal with because the better they get, the more obvious fact is that they have an advantage another player doesnt, whether they use it is up to them

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#20 Cule

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Posted 19 September 2007 - 04:12 AM

Yeh, whats up with that?

Cant have it both ways you know. Doesnt work.

Another thing that grinds my gears ( lol ) is the staffers who sit in player clans.

That screams favouritism all over.

#21 Raylen

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Posted 19 September 2007 - 05:08 PM

page me now for free hintz & tipz.

Although in all seriousness my sympathies lie with Gareth on this one. I wouldn't say anything is anyone's fault, as such, but yeah.
+1 post count ggpwnedkthxbai

it's plausible that the SOB hasn't spawned


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